I just want to be able to express myself

Let’s get personal!!! My story of death and back again. Along with breakfast.

I had written something last night on a show I was watching on Net Flicks call, “Life after Life” By the way, as I was deciding on what to blog about, I burned my vegetarian sausage I was having for breakfast. I have done this so many times that I’m starting to like them burned. The mustard and hot sauce helps with the taste. The burnt part anyways.

Burnt Vegetarian Sausage with mustard and hot sauce!

Well, back to “Life after Life”. They were interviewing several people on their out-of-body experiences. When they had actually died and had an out-of-body experience. They also interviewed several people and what they thought about, where do we go after death?  A lot of them believe we go to heaven. I personally don’t believe in heaven.

Have any of you fellow bloggers experienced an out-of-body experience or almost died?

I just bit into a really burnt part of my sausage. I think I’ll try to not burn them next time. I still eat them because my motto is “waste not, want not”. The dogs at my feet are waiting for their fair share of sausage. They don’t mind that they’re burned. I think they have the same motto.

I hope this question isn’t too personal. I know it can be a sensitive topic. I mean no disrespect.

I just hit spell check. Let me just say, “thank god for spell check”

What do you think happens when we die? I’ve been taught that depending on how we lived our life. This determines where our consciousness goes. We judge our own selves. If we have regrets or any emotional attachment to something we did or didn’t do, we attach to this and off we go. We create our own hell or heaven.

Man wrote the Bible to control the masses. It’s such a fear based book. I mean, again, no disrespect. But it’s been proven. We are not born sinners. Children are born pure. Look at his-story, there is so much hate, violence and genocide in the name of religion.

Anyways, back to, what happens to us after we die? I died once. That sounds funny. But, I did. I was at the beach and someone open fire on us. I was getting ready to leave when I heard pop, pop, pop, like firecracker. I had just got my car back from the shop. I had just had it painted. My friend I was with tackled me down. I lied there with bullets hitting the ground around me. I could feel the wind pass me as the bullets went by. Several went by my head. Finally the bullets stopped and the others that were not in the parking lot came to our aid. I didn’t realize I was shot till I tried to move. My friends told me to lie still. They called the police. The police came, and they were so rude I couldn’t even believe it.

I heard them saying, “Oh, it’s just another drive by shooting.” I cried out to my friend, there was no answer. I cried out, “find my friend” “where is he.” They found him under a car. He was trying to hide from the hell of bullets. He had been shot five time. Luckily he didn’t get hit in any vital areas.

I had been shot two times. One in my leg and the other hit my stomach. I wasn’t bleeding from the stomach but, I was bleeding internally. My stomach started to get bigger and bigger with blood. I laid in the hospital for a long time before they did anything because I was under age. They needed permission from my parents but, they were out-of-town. So, they got a court order. Craziness. When I came out of surgery the doctor told me they lost me a couple of times. But, I didn’t have an out-of-body experience. This story would be more interesting if I did but, I didn’t. I wonder why it happens to some but not others.

The funny thing, when I was shot I knew I wasn’t going to die. Even if the wounds were pretty serious I knew, without a doubt, I wasn’t going to die. I had this calm surround me.

Well, that was my close call with death. Why is hospital food so bad. To this day I get nauseous with the smell of hospitals.

Take care all. Let me know what you think. Thanks


10 Responses to “Let’s get personal!!! My story of death and back again. Along with breakfast.”

  1. You are right, Religion kills. But, God is real, and Jesus really saves. Seriously though, as the Bible tells us, these things are only spiritually discerned. I also mean no disrespect, but, I believed, and questioned things much as you do for many years. I no longer feel that way by any means. When you say that man wrote the Bible as a means of control, though, I agree man/religion tampered with it for that precise purpose, I don’t agree man wrote most of it, and if they did…why would the Catholic Church keep it out of the hands of the people for so long? There is a truth within the Holy Bible that can only be revealed to us by His Holy Spirit, and the Church apparently knew this…Or, at least, they knew that their version spieled publicly, for means of gathering indulgence monies etc…did Not line up with the Truth within His Word. As far as all the wars, skirmishes, and death throughout History…it is not His doing, but, in His Book..He does tell us why these things have happened, and even many things that will soon happen. He has never been the hate in the world, those who hate Him, on the other hand, are, as His word is as the Bible says a two-edged sword, meaning, just as the name of Jesus it separates those in the world. Either one accepts His free Gift, and then begins to be changed into His likeness, ( by His empowerment, and guidance) or they don’t. It’s either life or death. That’s the understanding, I firmly believe I have been taught, by Him…through His Word…not some religion, or other persons interpretation. Just from Him, through Logos.
    Bless You

    • The oldest religion is the Motherhood of God. For well over 200,00 years God was female. Before human religions and organizations ever existed. It was only about 4,000 years ago that patriarchy became the dominating power and rejection of the primordial feminine became the suppressing force. To the patriarchal mind, the inclusive communistic societies were deemed Godless, and desperately in need of law and reform. Here is where we cling to fundamentalism, the need for god the father ruling one nation under god the father indivisible with liberty and justice for all. Liberation from what, justice for whom? Only those who are mandated by God the Father of course, to impress capitalism as the one divine law to be either colluded with or those who fragmented from this law were not of the true religion and therefore, dammed to poverty physically, mentally, and spiritually, as they were undoubtedly evil. This is the rational of the materialistic mind. Alienate all who are not bound to the machine of uniform mass consumption as the fundamental reality. Is it not the very bastardization of the truth of human existence?

      The very essence of matriarchy is unity, commune-ism in its truest form.
      To use your words, I firmly believe I have been taught by Her…..through Her Word…not some religion, or an others interpretation. Just from Her.

      Did you know Jesus was a Bhakta. He also worshiped Divine Mother.

      All rituals and ritual objects, however they appear to be of their Christian faith, have their foundation in the religion of The Mother.

      I been taught to question every thing.

      Why would the Catholic Church keep it out of the people for so long? Why don’t we start where we are now, as far as the Catholic Church is concerned. They choose to protect their own pedophiles, and use their money to silence the victims.

      When I was young the Nuns of the Catholic church were mean and evil. I don’t think I’m the only one with this fact. Ask all the Indian children that were taken away from their families.

      My Guru really saves. And these are Her word that have taught me to live in truth.

      • Well, I agree…Mystery, Babylon did and does worship the “Queen of Heaven” She’s refereed to in Jeremiah and many other places both scriptural and historical. That much goes back to Nimrod, and even to the garden for that matter. God is Spirit, and therefore gender needs not play any roll in worshiping God. I understand where you are coming from about man tampering with Gods Word for their own controlling purposes.

        But, no, Jesus was NOT Bhakta…and, Lilith never existed, although, sadly the Opradoxed religions of this world would have us believe we are god. Everything taking place on the world stage today will soon be proven prophesied in Gods word. I pray the wise are not confounded by their own conceit, but that too is already written, and happening to the world today. There is only one absolute truth, and only one freedom, and its not religion, it’s the Prince of Peace. Bless You

      • I pray that the ignorant are confronted with their own ignorance. The absolute truth lies within all of us. Freedom is the birth right of all. The prince of peace was a man of his time. There are many that have come after and before him.

  2. Being “saved” is an often heard religious term. When you say that your Guru really saves, what does she save you from and how does she do it?

    Thanks for visiting my blog (RuthBaileyArt). Ruth

    • My Guru has saved me from living in regret, doubt, fear, mistrust, anger and hatred. She does this by teaching me to truly understand why I act, react to certain situations. She has taught me to understand my thoughts, and why I think the way I do. She has taught me to see my judgmentalness, my own prejudices, my emotional attachments that keep me from being truly happy. She had taught me to question everything I don’t understand. She has taught me to see my bad habits that I have learned throughout my culture, traditions and fears from this culture and traditions that are not my fears but, fears instilled in me by my parents and family members. She teaches from experience. What I mean by this is, I have experienced the right way and the wrong ways of being. I have made the choice to live in truth. Truth is undeniable. She teaches us to contemplate our own actions and learn from them. This takes a lot of discipline. The biggest problem I had with all of this has been my pride. This is a big one to over come.
      I prayed my whole life for someone like Her. My prayers were answered. I feel free from my past, I have no regrets. I am sorry, and I do have remorse from my past action and the harm I have caused. But, I can say I am more Self Aware of my true self. And from this awareness take total responsibility for anything and all action. I have been taught not to be mean but, to express how I feel from experience and to be an example of the truth that She has taught me. She has truly saved me. You truly need someone who is alive to be an example of Truth. Acceptance of self and understanding the self is key. Understanding the source of our action is important. This how we come to understand the true Self.
      Thank you. For your response Let me know what you think. ok. Take care.

    • Check out my Guru’s Blog.

      Let me know what you think OK
      I started my blog because of Her blog.

  3. This is an interesting story of your experience with death.

    To answer you question : I had a death experience; several days after knee surgery. I won’t go into too much detail but I was home and had unexpectedly fainted. An ambulance was called. I woke up and said,
    ” Hey, why are you here and why are you taking me away?” I was carted into the ambulance anyway. It was on the way to the hospital and in the emergency room that I had two separate issues of facing death. It was very real and very transforming. It wasn’t my time to be there as I was told. I have survived and have been grateful for everyday that I am here.

    There is more and, of course, a story someday. I think the one thing I learnt from that experince is that we make our own lives what they are. The good or evil we do is not based on how religious you are. There are a great many who are religious that are evil (ie: Catholic Priests). Religion and dogmas just keep us on a righteous path. We are the ones who make the descions to hurt or harm. These evil deeds we do are all noticed by someone greater; and we see them, too, if we open our minds and hearts and really see.

    I suppose I should say – no offense intended as all have done – but, really, isn’t this what you asked for??? The seeker should be able to seek and accept even if it is of a different word than what he has known.


    • Hello Isadora

      Thank you so much for your honesty. I agree with you, we all need to take responsibility for our own actions. Thank you for sharing your story for us to read. You would think a knee surgery would not put you in a life and death situation but, I’m glad to hear you’re OK. Please keep in touch.

  4. I have had a near death experience. Saw the tunnel w/a white light at the end of it, saw that there were people there waiting for me and I felt I knew who they were. Heard beautiful music (Pink Floyd’s “Is Anybody Out There”). I was an atheist at the time and I’m still an atheist. What do I think I experienced? A very vivid dream brought on by the starvation for oxygen of my brain cells or something similar. I saw and heard what I longed to see, IMO.

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