I just want to be able to express myself

I feel like a totally different person!!! My personal thoughts today.

For the past few weeks I’ve been transferring cassette tapes to CD. The cassettes are teachings from Swami Shubhrananda, my Guru. I decided to start from the beginning, which is 1992. I have teaching on VHS and audio cassette tapes. So, I have two recording devices from cassette to CD, and one VHS to DVD, going at the same time . I’m listen to teachings that I’ve heard before. I hear myself, on the old teachings, asking questions and reply to questions from Swamiji. I think back to who I was then, and I am a totally different person now. I have learned so much about myself since then. It feels like a totally different lifetime. I was so insecure, no direction, lots of doubt in humanity, regret, hate, and lots of remorse.

I use to have so much pain, physically. Pain in my neck, body and lots of discomfort, and I was young then. It was hard to sleep, and I never felt rested at all. I was a lot younger chronologically, then. But, now I feel better than I’ve ever felt. I’m so much happier. With the teachings I’ve received, and the knowledge I’ve gained, I have truly put years on my life. The dis-ease of my past will not hinder me and my future. This I know for sure.

Karmically, I know I was put in this situation to strengthen the strength I’ve gained already. The future holds a great deal of change for all of us. For over 20 years Swamiji has taught us about the changes of 2012. I remember feeling so much fear. But, now I feel prepared for what is to come, which is a great deal of change. I never liked change at all. Swamiji has taught me, through a great deal of patience, the lessons of change. I may not be able to tell you exactly what is going to happen but, I am prepared, and understand human nature enough to be prepared for just about anything. So long as I know myself and my reactions, and don’t react emotionally, there is truly no reason to fear anything, for fear is a dis-ease in and of itself. Fear will cause you to react in the wrong way and will cause more harm than not. Reacting from emotion will only cause regret, and remorse which causes dis-ease. I think we all know this from experience.

The peace of heart and mind is the greatest gift my Guru has given me. She is the Greatest Mother anyone could ever have. I owe Her my life. I would take a bullet for Her. Not that I think my life not worthy. She is the most noblest person, and has so much to offer the world. I’m like the secret police protecting the President, just an example.

Hearing the teachings again has inspired me to write this blog today. I hope you like it. Just wanted to express myself.

May love come to all that need it in this world today.

Take care.


2 Responses to “I feel like a totally different person!!! My personal thoughts today.”

  1. Very nice post. Thank you for sharing something so personal.

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